Deny Denial

MAP

I saw this morning how much easier it is to imagine the past than the future.

Why is that?

Easy apples I suppose.  All I have to do is recall the past, replay it in my head.

To imagine the future is much more work.  There’s a concept, script writing, filming, editing, possible re-shoots of scenes …

And that didn’t happen with your replay? 

It did originally I suppose.  But now that it’s in the can, so to speak, I just hit replay.

You’re kidding yourself, right?

What do you mean?

You know there is more to the replay than meets the eye, your eye.  You have edited and re-shot the scenes to your liking, only you’re not aware of what you did.

Ask others in your replay of what they recollect.  Are you even watching the same show?

No.  We have different versions of the same events.

So don’t kid yourself.  Don’t tell yourself it’s easier to conjure up the past than it is the future.

But I knew what I wanted in the past because it happened.  I don’t know what I want in the future.

You’re kidding around again, aren’t you.

Yes and no.  The thought can creep in automatically but the statement sounds absurd when you hear it.

Good to know.  I was worried there for a moment.



How would you change things, the thoughts you have?

The first step in opening the door is to stop saying “I don’t know”.

Those are killers, those three words are.  They are your quickest route to denial so you use them.

Take a look at why want to deny what you know.  Where does that keep you – in what you know?

I think not.

There is more to it and you know that too.

You can’t deny what you don’t know, so you can’t stay in what you know because you are pushing it away from you.



What do you fear in knowing more, in being more, in fulfilling your dreams and desires?

I tell you a little bit won’t do.

A little desire fulfilled here and a smidgen of dream come true there won’t be enough to satisfy your thirst for being you.

So get on with it.

Understand exactly what denial buys you.  You have made that more powerful than you.



But it is easily deflated – deny the denial of fuel.

How do I do that?

Be you.  Look at you.  Be truthful with you.

Hold yourself out there and say what you need to say to you.

You know exactly what to do.

Write all your excuses down for not being you, not living your dreams, not doing what you came here to do.

Write down all the barriers you have put before you.  Write down all the reasons you can’t change and life must remain the same.

What have you told yourself so often they feel true?

Your kids, your job, your life, your home – who have you burdened with the responsibility of not being you.



Write them all down and make a presentation to yourself.  Show them on a screen like a picture show.

Watch your life slide away in front of you.

Would you accept all those reasonings from somebody you knew?



How do you feel inside – check in with what’s going on.

Do you feel sick to your stomach?  Do you want to scream and run and hide?

Do you feel small and dejected?

Or are you energized?



Do not run, and do not hide.

This is your chance to face you.  This is your chance to deny denial.

Take away its power you have given it over you.

Go through, around, over and under to the other side.  Just don’t run away to think this could happen another day.

You will have fed denial a feast of meals to power over you.