Should Be A Problem

MAP

What’s your pleasure?

Have you given that much thought lately or are you drowning in obligations?  Should is one of the most dangerous and debilitating words you have.

But it does serve a purpose.  It gives you a choice point.  The problem is you don’t move on – you keeping circling around and around and around rehashing the same point over again.

When you run across a should – take time to look at it and decide what you really want.  Do you want to do it or not.  This is a choice point for deciding who you really are.  This way or that.  Use the tool for that purpose and move on.

When you cycle around and around you defeat the purpose of the point in time your are looking for.  Instead of saying this is who I am, you cycle round and define yourself as something else – totally unrelated to the point.

To make a decision is to take a stand – even the tiniest of stands.  In hunting you use a stand to get a better vantage point, to see above the rest and move out of the trees.  That is all taking a stand means – to see from a better vantage point.

There is no harm in taking a stand.  This is part of what you say you want – to see more clearly for yourself, to not be riddled with the unknowns, the guilt, with indecision about which way to turn.

I tell you this – the moment you say you should do something you know exactly how you feel.

You either want it or you don’t.

But instead of acknowledging that and moving on you play games with yourself.  You let your mind get involved to thwart any forward motion you might have.  And then you get frustrated when you feel you are moving nowhere.

Do you see the insanity of what you do to yourself?

Use the should as a tool to define yourself more clearly and move on.  Stewing about it only serve to tell you even more clearly what you do not want to do but refuse to do something about it.

Play that game if you like but acknowledge – at least to yourself – what you are doing.  Experience more fully what you alone are doing to yourself.  No one on the outside is doing this to you.  This is solely you.

What others think is not for you to decide.  But if you create that picture in your mind of how they will react or what they will do then you are going to see exactly that – regardless of what they really do.

And if they do what you expect them to do – do you get a booby prize for being right?  Does that make you feel better for knowing how they will react?  Or did you create their reality for them by being something you are not?

How can you react differently if you do not allow others the opportunity, the possibility of being different?

The game you play creates a dynamic you react to.  The particulars may change but the dynamic remains the same.  Take a step back and take a stand to see that.  The game plays again and again without anything changing – until you do.

When you change, everything changes.  The dynamic is broken.  The bonds break apart ready to be reformed.  There is no loss – only re-form-ation.  That is the space you create – the space of re-form-ation when you decide and move on, to be who you are.  To break those bonds is to regain your freedom.

“To be free is to be me” – that is a mantra you can use to remind yourself of who you are in every moment.  This is no should or shouldn’t – there is only me or not me.

Everything else is a device you use to be less than who you are.  Not even less – to be totally different than who you are.

Don’t misuse these tools you have given yourself but forgot how to use.  Would you use a hammer to remove a screw?

That is what you do when you misuse a tool.  Take a good look at what you have at your disposal and truly see what they were designed to do.

The eloquent and simple solutions are there already for you to use.