Power Games

Sometimes it’s good to go in circles.  Otherwise I wouldn’t get where I want to go. 

For as much as this sounds like a contradiction, I can see clearly it’s not.  These past two months seem like I’ve been traveling the same road over and over again and my ticket off is to finally “get it”, or at least “get enough” for now.

My “lesson for the quarter” appears to be truly knowing what standing in my Power really means.  I don’t know how many times I in the last few months I have been presented with circumstances to explore this feeling.  As an added bonus, when circumstances aren’t available my mind seems to be quite willing to step in and provide recaps so I can experience these events all over again.

A few years ago I realized I spent a good portion of my childhood playing the “power game”.  I would give up my power to someone else and then try to get it back again.  Then I would have to give up my power in another way or to another person.  Why play this game – I’m not totally sure.  Maybe for attention.  Maybe I was imitating life around me and thought I wasn’t supposed to have any power.  Because I did know I had inner power and I didn’t always give it up.  I was willing to stand up to the class bully or not belong to groups if it meant feeling good about myself on the inside.

I must have forgotten about the “power game” because it’s been in my face for too many weeks.  Except now the stakes are larger.  My opponent is much bigger and much more powerful than me.  Only I was the one who made them appear so much bigger and powerful.  I was the one who made myself believe I was small and weak.  How easy it is to slip into the role again of having to do another’s bidding.

And then I’m reminded to connect with my Inner Being, my Inner Power.  All of the static and negative energy melts away.  I have this great sense of inner peace and expansiveness that seems to level the playing field.  I am no longer weak; I am strong.  I am Me.

When I am Me, there is no longer a need to do battle, to control, to fix, or to win.  I am left with the clarity to see “what is” and the knowing I will handle whatever comes about.  Fully standing in my Power I have the guidance to focus on what truly needs to be done right now and let the rest fall away to be healed.