When I Give

Jane, a good friend of mine, shared with me a most brilliant observation yesterday.  For some time now she has been living in the vortex of change, trying to both listen and understand what she is being shown, what she is being drawn to do.  Jane said she had reached that all too familiar point of surrender.  She was ready to cry “uncle”, throw up her hands in resignation and exclaim “I give!”.  And then she realized that was exactly what was driving force of her change.

I’m not sure how many times I have uttered those same two words “I give” in exasperation.  Only yesterday did I recognize their significance.  The place of helplessness I fell when I cry out “I give” is precisely the place of being where I truly can give – of my Self.  My perceived dispair of not knowing and being out of control in the midst of chaos is really the stripping away of my ego self getting in the way.  At the point I can say “I give” is when I no longer have to take.

I can also see the importance of resignation when I say “I give”.  When I resign myself I am re-signing a new commitment to my Self, only this time from a place stripped of illusion.

There are so many more nuances to explore with this new and empowering perspective.  I will no longer look at the process of surrender as a defeat or loss.  Instead I can look upon each point of surrender as an opening to be and give more of my Self in the world.