Out Of The Unknown

I’ve been on a spiritual path all of my life.  I just didn’t know.  At least not until eight or nine years ago.  Since then I’ve been “in transition” and as to where I am still not clear.

The telltale signs my life was about to change began slowly enough but by 1995 they had gathered enough steam to create an entire year of feeling totally lost.  I knew my life needed to change but didn’t know where to turn, where to go or what to do.  All I knew was to change.

I’m always amazed at how easily I can zip back in time to May 1996.  On contract at the time, the project manager called me to his office and asked if I was going to renew for another six months.  In a split second my internal dialogue quickly raced through thoughts like not knowing my purpose in life, extending would buy me time, and what better things did I have to do?  Zipping back into reality I hear myself saying “yes” while feeling I just totally let myself down.

I returned to my office and was about to continue what I was doing.  Before my hands could touch the keyboard I heard “Lorraine, it’s time for you to leave.”  I couldn’t have spun around faster in my chair if I’d tried to see who was there – no one.

As startled as I was, I understood and could feel in my entire body the truth and freedom in that statement.  The time HAD come for me to leave, to take a step into the unknown.  I may not have been able to see what lay but I sure knew more of the same was incredibly worse.

Again and again I find myself in the increasingly familiar place of the unknown.  The more I seem to accept not knowing, the more amazing Life becomes.  I continue to be in awe of the opportunities and adventures I have been presented from out of the unknown I know I could not possibly have imagined on my own.